TXTS FRM LST NGHT

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(330): I’m lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.


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(319): Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus’s trunk. Your move


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(201): halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops… from sexy men dressed up as them.


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(570): I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document


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(813): Dating my ex’s drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.


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(330): Fuck 8am classes
(330): Dear Jesus I’m gonna throw up through my eyes


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(604): I’m gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.


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(816): She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to “I’m a cheating whore”


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(614): I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook


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(971): you were chalanging people to drink the “worlds biggest jager bomb” - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager… is it no wonder you dont remember anything?


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