textsfromlastnight.com on your dashboard
(928): I’m sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn’t partying. Its sad.
(483): Just had the moment before I realised I’d packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I’m a dick doesn’t she?#
(313): I can’t wait for paintbang. I’m going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don’t use it on beer.
(754): Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I’m buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
(347): When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards.