TXTS FRM LST NGHT

textsfromlastnight.com on your dashboard

(306): The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It’s glorious.


(210): im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!


(912): There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
(912): Do you need my fax number or something?


(303): The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I’m leaving you.


(695): it was like a congratulatory penis slap.


(215): Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there…..


(609): She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.


(561): I’m sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table…this is a new holiday tradition.


(360): she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box… im in love.


(519): I don’t really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..